Three generations of Villarino men had their dreams ruined.

The controlling mother ruined three generations of Villarino men.  Her husband came to Los Angeles to get his Ph.D. in chemistry.  In 1940 he had to walk away from his dream because his wife was pregnant with their son.  I was told it was the right thing to do.  Over time she must have gotten disenchanted with her husband's take home pay and arguments started over money.  It seems her son witnessed some of the arguments between his parents.  It did hurt this sensitive boy to hear his mother to debase his father, consequently he became determined to get that coveted Ph.D. no matter what.  He wanted to make his father proud.  His father died January 1968, he never got to see his son earn that degree.

The son is my husband who abandoned us, our son and me in July 1967.  As I mentioned in my earlier blog I was never told of the plot my mother-in-law spun against me in their bedroom with the door closed.  It appears she ordered her son to keep me in the dark about the cruelty she was capable to dish out.  In  July 1964 when she forced her son to keep her grandson she promised my husband they would pay for his education, in turn he has to keep her grandson.  The child was born on 30 November 1964.  She condemned to child to grow up without a father before it was born.  In July 1964 when this woman forced her son to keep her grandson my husband made it quite clear that he will not be tied down by a child and if she reneged on her promise he will walk out on us.  She did brake her promise and we lost my husband.  He never paid any child support although he earned three times as much as I did.  The moment he planned to abandon us he started on a self destruct path with drugs and whores.  In 1970 he was offered a teaching position at the University of Kentuckey at Lexington, KY.  This job lasted about 18 months because he was arrested for selling drugs to one of his students.  A few days before his trial he fled the country but not before he was able to get a job at a university in Buccamaranga, Columbia.  He could not stay there because he could not provide a background check, consequently the Columbian immigration asked him to leave the country.  From there he spent some time on Isla de Providencia, a Columbian island, obviously he had to leave the island as well.  In 1981 he somehow made it to Costa Rica where he now teaches at la Universidad de Costa Rica a San Jose Costa Rica since 1981.  He has not contacted me although he knows I love him very much.  I have written him letters, begging him to resume communications with me so we can work on a reconciliation.

Here was this woman who managed to get her husband to walk away from his dream, she tried to do the same to her own son only he chose to abandon his family rather walk away from his dream but in the end  it was our son who had to forego his dream because I never earned enough money to pay for his Ph.D. education;  my husband did not find it important to send his share of the child support.  I am questioning my mother-in-laws motives.  What has she gained by denying three generations of Villarino men their dream.  What does she have to show for her dysfunctional, controlling behavior.  I wonder if she ever has nightmares over ruining four lives.  For that matter I like to know if my husband has a guilty conscience for what he did to us his family.  It seems some people never learned anything about kindness or ethical intelligence otherwise  
there would no be so much pain in this world.